Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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