If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
