So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
