Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize