I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
