I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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