My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
