My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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