So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
