Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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