stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
