your parents love me but you hate me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
