i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
