I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
