Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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