Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My first STD was from a foam party
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
