you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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