bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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