Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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