Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
