If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
