i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
