I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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