Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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