xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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