It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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