It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if only i could text you this smell
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
