I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
