I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize