oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
