Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
