He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
