A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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