8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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