She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
