There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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