Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
