I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
