Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
