wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
pray to the hookup gods
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize