I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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