Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
