You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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