You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
