My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
