I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
