One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
