Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She bit a glass in half.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like death gave me a hand job
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
