last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
