Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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