I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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