rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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