We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
