before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
