i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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