called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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