Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
