I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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