This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
