I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize