a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
