my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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