Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
