I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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