Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
