haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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